New Riders, Consider the Dangers of Swamp-Ass

Welcome to Southern Riding Season

-In Texas we bake our balls, but sometimes on low

It’s freaking spring people!

People are out riding and, judging by the increased ad presence, motorcycle sales are clearly picking up. Adventures and dreams are being imagined on two wheels. With so many two-wheeled options to consider, you may overlook the option of what temperature and intensity you’ll be toasting your taint at.

Me? I’ve hopped on the liquid cooling band wagon, as many manufacturers have as well. So I toast mine to a cool 220 on a hot summer day. Which is just the right temperature to roast beef , but not enough to roast my favorite other nuts….Almonds.

Why I suggest you choose a liquid cooled machine

The biggest obvious reason to go liquid cooled is that the industry is moving towards liquid cooling. The price is coming down and people are realizing they can ride in the hottest months without caking on a whole bottle of monkey-butt powder. Why would you want to ride air-cooled down south and roast your crotch at every intersection? Aside from the few picking nostalgic but impractical machines, you probably wouldn’t. Going air-cooled will also mean your purchase will be that much harder to offload once you realize nostalgia is not worth turning your anatomy into barbecue. Go liquid cooled and you can take your sweetheart out to dinner without enveloping her in the tangy aroma of crotchal sweat. If that sounds like a plus to you, maybe liquid cooled should be a requirement in your motorcycle purchase.


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A Web Developer by trade, find me on Github A motorcycle enthusiast at heart. Most days I'd rather be in the woods anywhere. I can be reached at pswoutlaw@adventure-us.guide